OJ Still Innocent

Apparently strapped for cash and still trying to convince himself that he really didn't do it, OJ hits up Fox news for an interview to promote his new book, If I Did It.
O.J. Simpson to promote "If I Did It" on Fox

Hell, I'm convinced already.

pussyfooting (cont...)

"This will be known as the year macho politics failed — mainly because it was macho politics by marshmallow men."

That kind of feisty rhetoric from the Queen of Spin, puts her on par with her hero, Hillary "The Rod" Clinton, whom she claims has bigger balls than the men in politics, and Maureen Dowd, the author of Bushworld and Are Men Necessary? (why do these titles seem redundant?) should know.
Maureen, I have a suggestion. If you liberals would stop emasculating your own men, maybe they would have the balls to walk the walk instead of just talking the talk. The answer to your party is not to promote the conniving crook who can slay straw men with her deft double-speak, but to get behind somebody honest, somebody not steeped in political agenda bullshit, somebody quite unlike yourself.. America would love to see it.

pussyfooting

Iran questioned on fuel traces found at waste plant

Does anybody with an IQ over 50 honestly believe that Iran is not working towards nuclear weapons? And if I remember correctly, W (pronounced dub-ya) had given Iran until the 1st week of August (yes, that's last August) to cease and desist any further development or face serious consequences. Iran was able to beg off until August 29.
So here we are, mid-November...apparently that threat was meaningless. I am so absofuckinglutely sick of all the crap going on in the mid-east. I say, give Israel the green light and the rest of us can sit back in relative security (certainly more than we've had since making Israel our poster child for democracy in the East). Let these people bomb each other back to the stone-age, just get the whole show over with.
Oh and while we're at it, Israel, North Korea hates Jews.

Is It Really Going To Happen?

I suspect they have left out the part where he devours her flesh before fleeing the planet on the mothership, but this is supposedly an excerpt from

The Double Ring Wedding Ceremony
from The Background, Ministry, Ceremonies & Sermons of the Scientology Religion (pages 88-99)


Friends:
We are gathered here in the presence of these witnesses for the purpose of legally joining in marriage this man and this woman, (names of bride and groom).

If there be any among you who know of any reason why this should not be done, let them now speak, or forever remain silent.

(Pause)

All being in accord, we shall proceed.

(Groom's name), is your reality of the love you have for (bride's name) such as you will be constantly creating through health and sickness; through adversity as well as good fortune?

Can you confront and grant forgiveness for shortcomings as readily as you give praise for all her many admirable qualities?

(Answer)

And have you communicated your love to (bride's name)?

(Answer)

(Bride's name), have you acknowledged (groom's) love?

(Answer)

(Bride's name), is your reality of the love you have for (groom's name) such as you will be constantly creating through health and sickness; through adversity as well as good fortune?

Can you confront and grant forgiveness for shortcomings as readily as you give praise for all his many sterling qualities?

(Answer)

And have you communicated your love to (groom's name)?

(Answer)

(Groom's name), have you acknowledged (bride's) love?

(Answer)

Then may I say to you both that through your love together with your agreement upon its reality, and by your communication of these two beautiful truths, you have completed the ARC triangle, and thereby consummated the only true marriage, which is beyond the power of any individual or group of individuals to add to or detract from
in the slightest manner.

However, the law and custom of our society requires that this union shall be made a matter of public acclaim and record. It is my honor to have been selected by you to perform the ceremony.

The acceptance of an honor carries with it an obligation of comparable magnitude, and I would be remiss in that responsibility if I failed to attempt a contribution, not to have you have already created, which no one can do,
but to the permanency of its continued creation on your future time track.

Man has ever employed symbols to impress upon the mind, wise and important truths, that these symbols might prove
an ever-present reminder of the necessity of ceaseless creation of our desires.

And I am certain that your one joint desire in present time is that the love you have created shall remain a reality throughout your future years.

Best man, have you a ring?
(Answer)

May I have it please?
(Receives the ring.)

Thank you.


(Holding up a ring between the thumb and forefinger of each hand:)

These rings consist of circles, and the circle has been an emblem of permanency to man since time immemorial. In fact, it represents time and space-- which are without ending. I want you to look upon these two emblems and mock up the ARC triangle in the center of each.

Have you done it?
(Answer)

Thank you.

As long as these emblems remain with you, I want you to see that triangle in their center as a reminder that the reality of their symbolism of permanency will hold true only so long as that triangle remains unbroken.

I should like to see you make a pact between you that you will never close your eyes in sleep on a broken triangle. Heal any breach with the reality of your love through communication. If you will do this, these emblems
of your greatest desire in present time will remain a reality throughout your future time track.

Let us proceed.

(Groom's name) will you take this ring and with these words, place it upon (bride's name)'s finger.

"With this symbol of my love"

(Answer)

"I take thee, (bride's name),"

(Answer)

"As my true and lawful wedded wife"

(Answer)

"I pledge thee to keep this love"

(Answer)

"Ever living, ever real."

(Answer)

(Bride's name), will you take this ring and with these words, place it upon (groom's name)'s finger.

"With this symbol of my love"

(Answer)

"I take thee, (groom's name),"

(Answer)

"As my true and lawful wedded husband"

(Answer)

"I pledge thee to keep this love"

(Answer)

"Ever living, ever real."

(Answer)

And now, in the name of the Church of Scientology and by virtue of the powers vested in me by the state, I declare you (groom's name), and you, (bride's name), to be truly and legally, husband and wife.

I will ask that you seal this ceremony with your lips.

(Wait for the kiss)

And I will ask these witnesses present to join me in blessing this ceremony with the postulate that the trust and love of the present shall become ever stronger with each passing year.

(Pause)

Did you do it?

(Answer)

Thank you.

(Be the first to congratulate them both, and the first to address the bride as Mrs.)

Top Christmas Gifts for 2006

Screw a Cheerleader, Screw the World

ah, football! America's favorite pasttime. I played football growing up on into high school. One year I knew the name and number of every player in the AFC. Relatively simple in concept, but somehow it became like WWE wrestling where score and solid play took a back seat to cheap shots, trash talking, and sophomoric celebration antics.
I watched the first part of the Bears/Giants game last night and was amused to learn of a new rule instituted into the league when a Giants halfback squirted across the endzone for a touchdown and promptly stuffed the ball up his shirt, allegedly as a tribute to his pregnant wife. The Giants were immediately slammed with a 15 yard "Unsportsmanlike Conduct - using the ball as a prop" penalty. Using the ball as a prop? wtf?!

Among the 15 new rule proposals passed yesterday by the league's 32 clubs was the banishment of ''prolonged or excessive celebrations" as well as celebrating while a player is on the ground. This is an attempt to forestall the antics of Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson, Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens, and Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith, all of whom have used what were called ''props" by Competition Committee co-chairman Jeff Fisher. Props, among other things, are now banned and will result in a 15-yard penalty. In addition, any dance deemed too long by game officials will result in an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after a warning.

I'm sorry but this is just silly. I'm going to suggest to the NFL commissioner that before any player does a celebration, they must complete 30 hours of dance lessons and acting lessons. Upon completion, the player may trademark their celebration. Extra points may be awarded by a panel of style judges.
No thanks, i'm going to stick to baseball.

To Xanga or not to Xanga

Xrist, it seems i've been on the internet forever. I remember when Mosaic web browser was the coolest thing since sliced bread and Yahoo was a single page of links to cool sites, about half of which were broken links to porn.
MailServers became a popular way for people of like interests to communicate and I even ran one of my own for a while on religion.
About 8 years ago I stumbled onto IRC as an excellent supplier for my MP3 collection (now over 23,000 songs), IRC led to "chat" and I really starting making some internet 'friends'.
In January of 2003, my IRC friends got me started blogging on LiveJournal, but there weren't that many of us and we didn't have that much in common so we all went our separate ways. I started hanging out in Yahoo game rooms and got to know a few people and we all started blogging in Yahoo 360 which is a piece of shit for a blogsite.
I had been reading 'the Fish' for about a year and enjoyed the comments of the regulars as much as the stories, so I recently started blogging here just to keep in touch with you all. I haven't experienced the problems some of you have, although there are some obvious issues.
I created a Xanga account so i can comment. Maybe I'll move my blogging efforts over there - i definitely don't like trying to maintain multiple blogsites.