Time to get tough on crime!

Teen shot by police stun gun dies

JERSEYVILLE, Ill. - A teenager carrying a Bible and shouting "I want Jesus" was shot twice with a police stun gun and later died at a St. Louis hospital, authorities said.

instead of electrocuting the kid, hell, why not just call in SWAT to take him out. Little shit was probably out campaigning for Pat Robertson or something.

Brad Pitt might be a decent human being

Brad Pitt joins Jimmy Carter building Indian homes

Wow! i'm completely speechless on this one. Unless this is the lamest PR stunt on record, I might have to take back everything bad I've ever said about this guy.
(but I wonder if he can swing a hammer while sporting a monster wedgie)

Asshole of the Week

This award almost went Kim Jong Il and I had the story all written up when I ran across this pic on the fish. I'm a little pissed because I was thinking the ideal costume for halloween would be dressing up as 'Bill Maher being an asshole', but Bill Maher, being Bill Maher, clearly has me beat.
There has been some debate since this pic surfaced about the tactfulness of this stunt. My opinion, FWIW, goes like this...
Since the beginning of time, we have always found humor in ironic tragedy. Shakespeare's King Lear is a riot. Paris Hilton having herpes - hilarious! There is a sense of yin-yang/justice/karma when people of undeserving fortune run into misfortune. It gives the rest of us a sense of fair play. However, when talentless but famous people (ie. Bill Maher) make fun of those who have earned their stripes, that's not funny.
If the Special Ed student pranks the high school jock, that's funny. If the jock pulled the same prank on the special ed kid, that's tasteless.

So Bill Maher, in the name of Steve Irwin, I curse you. May you spend your remaining days on earth being plagued by the nightmares of 1,000 angry crocodiles.

Natalie Portman Is A Badass

In case you missed this on SNL...

The 'Sooner' State?

Oklahoma Legalizes Tattooing

The possibilities of jokes with this are endless, so I'll just say thank God we are done with back alley tattoos in Oklahoma.

Snoop Dogg Arrested

Snoop Dogg arrested at SoCal airport

When officers searched the vehicle they found a gun and marijuana, police said.
"There was no basis for this arrest," the rapper's attorney, Donald Etra, said in a statement.

No basis?
This is why I never get selected for jury duty. Sure, I get summoned constantly, but I never get selected. You see, there's this questionaire that perspective jurors have to fill out and one of the questions goes something like this, "Do you have confidence in our judicial system?"
Putting aside the OJ Simpsons, Robert Blakes, Michael Jacksons, (et al), trials that have been farcical(sp?), the answer is still "no, i do not have confidence in our judicial system." Despite the adjective "judicial", our current system has strayed far from the model of "justice".
True justice would mean that if somebody is guilty, they should be punished accordingly. Evidence obtained illegally should be dealt with as a separate offense. Juries should be comprised of people who can reason (which, sadly, is usually contrary to the whole "jury by peers" concept). Unfortunately, smart people know how to get out of jury duty, which leaves only the disgruntled and moronic 'peers' to decide the outcome of the case.

"We believe that once this is cleared up, all charges will be dismissed."

yep, he's probably right about that.

If You Can't Speak English Do Not Work The Drive-Thru Window

Yeh I know this old, but sometimes I feel like this guy.
Yesterday, I went to KFC drive-thru for lunch. Thought maybe i'd try those $1 Chicken Snackers w/ Cheese. Now I try to be open-minded, I've even learned how to order from the McD's menu in Spanish. But this is KF'nC for xrist sake! and I don't speak Hindi (unless I'm trying to reserve a room at Motel 6).
Ok so he doesn't have the Snackers w/ cheese. Can I pay extra and get cheese on them? You don't have ANY cheese? OK, fine just give me two snackers and a large diet coke.
$4.73...?! Either this guy isn't playing by the KFC rules or Diet Coke got really expensive. Fine, i'm hungry and I can afford $5. So I give five $1 bills and three pennies from my ashtray because I hate collecting more pennies. He hands me my food and a quarter. I hold the quarter in my hand and stare at him for a second...nah, it's not worth it. A thousand racial epithets could have been hurled but he would probably just ask if I wanted cheese with that.