Olsens wanted for Playboy
Apparently Mr. Heffner is getting bored/senile and is now entertaining thoughts of 12yo boys. The twins apparently aren't falling for it however, and are holding out for something more "classy". I've got news for them.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Nominated for 2008 Darwinian
I wish i could embed this video. You'll just have to trust me that it's worth seeing.
video here
video here
Monday, February 25, 2008
Vigilante Justice
This is just all kinds of political incorrectness, but Rufus Terrill's 'BumBot' is the kind of crime deterrent that would make Mack Machowicz (FutureWeapons) green with envy.
Read the story about this Atlanta bar owner and his RoboCop here
Thursday, February 21, 2008
"Luke, I'm your father"
Pentagon Says It Blasted Falling Satellite
Could you possibly ask for a better excuse to test our 'Star Wars' technology?
My favorite quotes:
So in short, what we've just done is created the first world wide cluster bomb.
Could you possibly ask for a better excuse to test our 'Star Wars' technology?
My favorite quotes:
"...the military is tracking the debris as it falls over the Atlantic and Pacific oceans."The Atlantic and Pacific Oceans? in other words, they have no idea where all of the crap is going to fall, so in order to avoid panic they're saying it will land in the oceans.
"...so far officials have tracked 'nothing larger than a football.'"That's almost reassuring, unfortunately, even a football traveling at 2 brazillion miles/hour could take out a building.
So in short, what we've just done is created the first world wide cluster bomb.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
What You Talkin' 'bout Willis?
Sorry ladies, but he's taken!
Say it ain't so. Alas, one of the world's great secrets, Coleman (40) and his beaming bride, 22yo Shannon Price, were married last August but nobody went public with it.
The story is here
classic quotes:
"I just want my own identity as well because I don't want to be known as Gary Coleman's wife," she said.
i can definitely understand that. I wouldn't want to be known as Gary Coleman's wife either.
Coleman played down their age differences, saying "I don't have issues with age, I have issues with intelligence ... She's more intelligent than I am and that's what matters to me."
While it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to be more intelligent than Gary Coleman, you still have to wonder about the intelligence of somebody marrying him.
Price, who is 5-foot-7, and Coleman, who is 4-foot-8, also played down their height gap.
"That doesn't really matter to me," she said. "He was 10 feet tall to me because he was sweet and I really liked his personality."
10 feet tall if you sliced him down the middle and glued him back end-to-end...almost.
As to the "sweet" personality... well there's this disorderly conduct citation shortly before he was married (the woman in the story was indeed Shannon), as well as the 1999 incident where he punched an autograph seeker.
According to other interviews, things are not going so well. Color me shocked.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
"Quit" is not in his vocabulary
101 Arrests puts Alger Scott slightly ahead of Cedric McCants
story here
be sure to check out the slideshow for more mugshot goodness.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
How To Fix A Toilet That Doesn't Stop Running.
(Chapter 3 in 'home repair for the cheap and clueless')
Ok, so the garage makeover to the kid's rec room didn't turn out so bad. i can haz sk1llz. So how hard can it be to fix a toilet that doesn't stop running?
Answer: It can be cheap and easy...but don't count on it.
Often times you simply need to replace the flapper. These do wear out from time to time to the point that they don't seal adequately, eventually leaking out the contents of the tank until the water drops low enough to force a refill.
Flappers are relatively cheap and relatively easy to replace. Downside: There aren't many variations to these simple contraptions, but invariable you will almost always buy the wrong one on your first attempt. Allow yourself enough time to make this discovery and return it for the right one before the store closes. Also, some of these things leave a really nasty film on everything they touch. Plan on lots of soap and water for cleanup.
The next most common thing to go wrong is the handle lever that lifts the flapper. When this little two dollar item goes awry, it will likely cost you $200 by the time you have the problem fixed.
Step 1: the metal parts are always corroded (always buy plastic). spray some WD-40 on the threads so that you can build up the false hope that you will actually be able to disassemble the lev
er for replacement.
Step 2: with a wrench, attempt to loosen lever assembly until you hear a crack in the porcelain tank and the sound of 3 gallons of water rushing onto the bathroom floor.
Step 3: Quickly locate water supply valve to the toilet and turn it off. Some of the new valves are plastic and will likely strip before you can shut the water off tightly (always buy metal).
Step 4: Quickly go outside the house, locate the water supply line to the house and shut off the water to the entire house. Award yourself 20 pts for each running appliance that uses water - dishwasher, clothes washing machine, etc. Award yourself an extra 50pts if somebody is in the middle of a shower.
Step 5: See instructions on changing flapper for changing out water supply valve to toilet. Upside: Not as messy. Downside: you won't be able to find a wrench that will fit.
Step 6: Do not attempt to repair a porcelain tank, it simply will not be waterproof. Save yourself the time and frustration, bite the bullet and purchase a new tank.
Step 7: If you're a resident of California, you can take this opportunity to learn a little known fact: You can no longer purchase 3 gallon toilet tanks. Congratulations, you get to buy a completely new toilet.
Step 8: Call a plumber. If you have completed steps 1 through 7 on your own, this step is really essential. You've already spent $200 on a new toilet in order to fix a $5 part. It's time to spend $100 on a plumber to minimize the number of $200 toilets you'll need to purchase to complete this repair.
Ok, so the garage makeover to the kid's rec room didn't turn out so bad. i can haz sk1llz. So how hard can it be to fix a toilet that doesn't stop running?
Answer: It can be cheap and easy...but don't count on it.
Often times you simply need to replace the flapper. These do wear out from time to time to the point that they don't seal adequately, eventually leaking out the contents of the tank until the water drops low enough to force a refill.Flappers are relatively cheap and relatively easy to replace. Downside: There aren't many variations to these simple contraptions, but invariable you will almost always buy the wrong one on your first attempt. Allow yourself enough time to make this discovery and return it for the right one before the store closes. Also, some of these things leave a really nasty film on everything they touch. Plan on lots of soap and water for cleanup.
The next most common thing to go wrong is the handle lever that lifts the flapper. When this little two dollar item goes awry, it will likely cost you $200 by the time you have the problem fixed.Step 1: the metal parts are always corroded (always buy plastic). spray some WD-40 on the threads so that you can build up the false hope that you will actually be able to disassemble the lev
er for replacement.Step 2: with a wrench, attempt to loosen lever assembly until you hear a crack in the porcelain tank and the sound of 3 gallons of water rushing onto the bathroom floor.
Step 3: Quickly locate water supply valve to the toilet and turn it off. Some of the new valves are plastic and will likely strip before you can shut the water off tightly (always buy metal).
Step 4: Quickly go outside the house, locate the water supply line to the house and shut off the water to the entire house. Award yourself 20 pts for each running appliance that uses water - dishwasher, clothes washing machine, etc. Award yourself an extra 50pts if somebody is in the middle of a shower.
Step 5: See instructions on changing flapper for changing out water supply valve to toilet. Upside: Not as messy. Downside: you won't be able to find a wrench that will fit.
Step 6: Do not attempt to repair a porcelain tank, it simply will not be waterproof. Save yourself the time and frustration, bite the bullet and purchase a new tank.
Step 7: If you're a resident of California, you can take this opportunity to learn a little known fact: You can no longer purchase 3 gallon toilet tanks. Congratulations, you get to buy a completely new toilet.
Step 8: Call a plumber. If you have completed steps 1 through 7 on your own, this step is really essential. You've already spent $200 on a new toilet in order to fix a $5 part. It's time to spend $100 on a plumber to minimize the number of $200 toilets you'll need to purchase to complete this repair.
Friday, February 01, 2008
More Astounding Criminals
Jury Finds Man Guilty Of Shooting Two Orange County Deputies
damn thing keeps going off, both of them!
...prosecutors said Ernest Simmons made a choice to shoot two deputies even though he said he accidentally shot at them 11 times with 2 different guns.
damn thing keeps going off, both of them!
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