Thank God For Federally Mandated Holidays

Weekend was way too short, so I'm glad this will be a short work week.
Saturday morning I was woken/awakened? much too early by the ambulance/fire crew leaving town (small town here). I remember making a mental note at the time how seldom we hear that in a small town. About 10 minutes later I got a phone call...SHIT!
My soon-to-be 16yo (if he lives another month) spent Friday night with his buddy and their family was heading out early to get firewood. They didn't get very far. On a 2-lane stretch heading out of town, some 17yo assclown in a Nissan Frontier decided to pull a UTurn right in front of them. After slamming into the Frontier, the full-size pickup my son was in went over the embankment. Adrenaline kicks in and JesseP0nk jumps out of the pickup, scrambles up the embankment, ready to tear this kid a new one and his back gives out.
This is not a particularly new experience for JesseP0nk, twice before he has tangled with cars on his bicycle, and quite frankly, too many other hospital visits to recall them all. It's been like a yearly pilgrimage since he was 2. The hospital really should dedicate a new wing in our family's name.
Now I have to commend my son's friend, for being very responsible through the entire ordeal. He was quick to call his insurance and make sure they were on top of any hospital bills, etc. Which brings me to my next point...
Have you ever seen the Progressive commercial where they ask "If we're this helpful when you're buying car insurance, just think how helpful we'll be once you're a customer"? Without getting into the logic fallacies of that inference, I will simply share just how helpful they were. I called the number, ready to give the claim number and all of the hospital information for my son. And after 30 minutes of waiting on hold, I finally gave up. And by "waiting on hold", I mean 5 minutes of holding the phone to my ear, and then 25 minutes with the phone on speaker-phone so the entire house could ring with the merry holiday tunes of elevator music and a voice saying, "Your call is very important to us, please hold until our next available service representative can take your call", cycling through every 30 seconds.

Ah the joys of having teenage sons. It's going to be a long thanksgiving break listening to a 16yo boy rant about assclown drivers, watching cheesey Christmas movies on TV, and trying to avoid getting caught up in discussions with my conspiracy theorist brother.