Public Restroom Question #38:

I'm generally in favor of dental hygiene, but when I stumble across things like this, it actually makes me a little queasy. I'm not microphobic, but let's face some facts - there is some nasty nasty business that takes place in public restrooms, by some nasty nasty people, that have no qualms about leaving their nastiness behind for others. So much nastiness that it can easily permeate the entire restroom even after the more scrupulous visitors. I, therefore, keep my visits seldom, short, and with minimal contact. I would not walk barefoot or take food into a public restroom. Brushing your teeth in there just seems counter-productive if you ask me.

ps. i thought it would be interesting to use only pre-existing tags for this post.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

are much more romantic than that bag of popcorn that was cremated down the hall. I don't know who you are, I suspect some temp filling in during registration. Congratulations, we now have an excuse on which to blame low enrollment. How in the hell (speaking of ungodly burning smells), did you manage to create such havoc with a microwave bag of popcorn? That is some serious talent, I can see why you are trying to join the workforce, you apparently lack the skills to be a homemaker. Your next career move should be in law enforcement and I will personally vouch for your ability to swiftly evacuate large buildings. McGyver himself could not concoct a tear gas that potent with a simple microwave oven and bag of popcorn.
The entire staff here at this fine institution of higher education congratulates you.
Merry Christmas.

ps I hope you don't plan to string cranberries and popcorn for your christmas tree or I will have to alert the state of Maine.