Missionary or Mercenary

I haven't talked much about this, but my 16yo is spending 2 months this summer on a missionary venture. 2 week crash course in primitive construction classes at a 'boot camp' in Florida, before spending 6 weeks on the islands of Trinidad & Tobago using those construction skills.

In the bottom picture, Jesse is in the front left with the black t-shirt and red bandana headband.

Sticks & Stones...

...(and jungle gyms) may break my bones...

My 8yo learned a valuable physics lesson on Friday.

Ever Stop to Think and then forget to start again?

There are a couple problems with this mentality. Liberals, please take note.
You can not impeach a president just because you don't like him or because you disagree with his choices. Consider it another inconvenient truth.

Perhaps the more important question is, "If President Bush were to be impeached, that would leave Dick Cheney in charge. Do you really want that?"

After seeing the ridiculous picture of Tom Cruise carrying around a basketball, I just couldn't resist.

Flip dis Crib

Any aspiring Do-It-Yourself'ers out there - listen up?
If working with stucco seems like a frightening experience...trust your instincts. Here are some tips I can give you.
1. Pay somebody else to do it. This is a difficult process but if you can succeed, it will greatly increase the odds of a successful outcome. As a first time attempter of stucco-ing, i hadn't realized how important this first step was, so I will give you some suggestions to help. Getting a contractor to come look at your 100 sq foot wall is a major accomplishment. They are all much too busy to be bothered with your 'little' hobby. LIE, do not tell them you have a 100 sq foot wall, tell them it is 500 sq feet, and when they show up, plead ignorance. Then once you have them there, BRIBE them to do the job.

2. If you are unable to procure a stucco contractor, do not feel like a failure. I called 5 different contractors in this economically depressed community and could not get one to even look at my project. You are, however, left with the unenviable task of doing the project by yourself. Before you begin, you might want to spend a week or so binge drinking just to get it out of your system.

3. Before the actual stucco, you need to cover the wall with 'felt' (tar paper) and chicken wire. You can spend a lot of money on fancy stucco mesh, but chicken wire will do just fine if you keep it tight, if it sags, you're f'd. The chicken wire must be spaced 1/8" to 1/4" off the felt. There are special nails for tacking the chicken wire up like this - get them.

4. A proper stucco wall requires 3 'coats' of stucco, all with fancy names. Ignore the names - for the beginning DIYer, just get the shit up on the wall. Let each layer 'cure' for at least a week before applying the next layer. Not only will this make the project feel like eternal hell, but it will give the skin on your hands almost enough time to heal between applications.

5. Inventory - I used 6 bags of stucco for my 100 sq ft wall. One bag was completely wasted because it got damp before i got around to putting up the 3rd coat. Unfortunately I didn't discover this to be a problem until after the stucco was supposedly cured and it all crumbled off like a child's sandbox in a windstorm. (btw, what didn't crumble off before i painted, flaked off WHILE I was painting = bad news)

6. BEFORE you even think about painting, make the effort to fill in any valleys and holes and etc. DIYers are notorious for covering up shoddy workmanship with a coat of paint, but that method won't work here. You can get the fluffiest paint roller that money can buy and you will still spend an eternity trying to get an even coat of paint on your wall.

7. The lady at the paint store will tell you that one gallon of paint will cover 300 sq feet. Do NOT believe her. Stucco has a quark-like property and sucks paint into a black hole. I needed almost two gallons to cover 100 sq feet.

8. Make sure to turn up your music really loud while you're working. You should not have to go through hell alone, force your neighbors to listen to your music.

A Wee Bit of Rain for us Wee Todds

2" of rain yesterday made it a bit treacherous getting home last night. My little pickup sputtered the rest of the way home after fording this.

Exclusive Interview With Muqtada Al-Sadr

p0nk: Hakuna Matata, how you doing?
Al-Sadr: p0nk, you joker, always with that Lion King shit...
p0nk: sorry, you know i can't resist. so anyway, word is that you're on the run. what's up with that?
Al-Sadr: word, it is ...how you say...dung of cattle, yo...
p0nk: so you didn't go to Iran?
Al-sadr: i visited Iran, yes. Allah appeared to me and said that they were running short of virgins in Paradise. That I must either stop sending up so many martyrs or start recruiting more virgins.
p0nk: I see, were you successful?
Al-Sadr: hey p0nk, just between you and me, allah doesn't check whether they are virgins or not, you know what i mean?
p0nk: ah, pulling the wool over his eyes...
Al-Sadr: sheep? who said anything about sheep? damn you yankee infidels and your sheep jokes!
p0nk: it was a figure of speech-nevermind
Al-Sadr: hey p0nk, i have joke for you...knock knock
p0nk: uh...who's there?
Al-Sadr: BOOM!
p0nk: yeh that's funny.
Al-Sadr: wait, that's not the funny part, you're supposed to say "Boom who?"
p0nk: y'know mookie, i find your humor a bit disturbing. what the hell has happened to you?
Al-Sadr: ah well, it's this damn jihad, p0nkster. i got enough stress to choke a camel's gonads so we like a little...how you say...nigger humor.
p0nk: I think you mean black humor.
Al-Sadr: ah whatever, you really need to lighten up a bit, p0nkster. Ha! I make joke! You say "Black", I say "Lighten up".
p0nk: you know what? fuck you mookie. I try to give you a little media time as an old friend and this is the shit you give me?
Al-Sadr: all right all right. mohammed, mary, and joseph! Say, what you think of my friend Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Is he a piece of work or what?
p0nk: he's a crazy mother fucker.
Al-Sadr: he asked me if he should nuke Israel. I say, you go ahead my friend, steal my thunder. He's a crazy SOB.
p0nk: him and Kim Jong Il.
Al-Sadr: bah, Kim Jong Il is a pussy. Hamsters laugh at the size of his penis.
p0nk: ok, i think we're done here.