Because nothing spells unbearable condemnation like a UN resolution.

"The leniency shown to celebrity drug-users in Britain came under severe criticism from the United Nations yesterday.

The UN's drug control agency said the easy ride given to stars by police, prosecutors and the courts sent out the wrong message to young people and generated cynicism over drug laws."

I'm pretty sure I speak for most everybody in saying ... "duh".
oh wait, sorry, that was the court-generated cynicism speaking. So what is the "wrong" message that is being sent? Newsflash: Celebrities get special treatment!
No doubt this 'severe criticism' handed down by the UN is going to whip Britain's legal system into shape and in so doing wipe out celebrity drug abuse.
...and then the UN can get back to straightening out that little misunderstanding in Darfur.

Read the story: Tame the cocaine stars: Drug-taking celebrities blasted by UN

Classy

Olsens wanted for Playboy
Apparently Mr. Heffner is getting bored/senile and is now entertaining thoughts of 12yo boys. The twins apparently aren't falling for it however, and are holding out for something more "classy". I've got news for them.

Homeless Soccer Team

Nominated for 2008 Darwinian

I wish i could embed this video. You'll just have to trust me that it's worth seeing.
video here

Vigilante Justice

This is just all kinds of political incorrectness, but Rufus Terrill's 'BumBot' is the kind of crime deterrent that would make Mack Machowicz (FutureWeapons) green with envy.

Read the story about this Atlanta bar owner and his RoboCop here

Star Trek meets Jefferson Airplane

"Luke, I'm your father"

Pentagon Says It Blasted Falling Satellite

Could you possibly ask for a better excuse to test our 'Star Wars' technology?
My favorite quotes:

"...the military is tracking the debris as it falls over the Atlantic and Pacific oceans."

The Atlantic and Pacific Oceans? in other words, they have no idea where all of the crap is going to fall, so in order to avoid panic they're saying it will land in the oceans.

"...so far officials have tracked 'nothing larger than a football.'"

That's almost reassuring, unfortunately, even a football traveling at 2 brazillion miles/hour could take out a building.

So in short, what we've just done is created the first world wide cluster bomb.