Least Favorite Things in Life

I really hate going to the dentist. I mean I really hate it. And not because it's particularly painful, or that it's ever really bad news. Hell, with my insurance, it's not even expensive.
So what is the problem? I've been blessed with very good teeth. I've had one cavity in my life, and never needed braces. My wisdom teeth never came in, so i've only had one tooth pulled. But damn those dentists and hygenists piss me off with their condescending talk. I end up switching dentists every several years simply because they piss me off.
The last time I switched dentists was because of an episode where we discussed flossing. The bitch was shredding my gums and ragging like a mother about how I needed to floss more often. Right lady, i will make flossing twice a day a high priority in my life. She has me in the torture chair administering her gum-slicing wire torture when she stopped and asked me to demonstrate how I normally floss. I responded that I don't normally do it while standing on my head. Maybe my gums don't bleed so much when I do it because i'm not suspended upside down for five minutes while trying to floss...f0ckers.
I received a bill in the mail this past week because I missed my dentist appt. Excuse me, I go twice a year, and I suppose since a trip to the dentist is as much fun as Christmas I ought to remember my appt. But I didn't. And, OK, I can understand it's a pain in the ass when people don't show up for their appts. But $40! Holy Fuck, that's a lot of money for doing nothing. It's not like there was an hour when suddenly there was nothing to do in the office. They ought to be paying me for surrendering my reservation to the next poor sap that's been waiting an hour. It's not like the focker is going to get his motor home repossessed, jeeeezuz.
I think if a doctor or dentist is going to charge for missed visits then they should reimburse at the same rate for the extra time you wait in the waiting room past your appt.

The Continuing Evolution of Christmas

I recently read a (news article) about some guy that stirred the wrath of all his neighbors with his radically new christmas lawn decoration - Santa Crucified on the Cross. 69yo Jimmy Wright claimed the 'artwork' was intended to express his sentiments

'Santa represents frivolous consumption. That's all he is. He shot Jesus right out of the saddle. He's the focus of Christmas.'

Personally, I don't make the connection but I do find it a bit humorous and I can certainly relate to his frustrations with society's 'Christmas spirit'.
All that the news can talk about is how Christmas spending is an economic indicator. This 'indicator' seems to be particularly difficult to read this year with the inception of The Gift Card. Yes, my friends, Christmas is now all about the Gift Card. If I were to write a letter to Santa this year, it would say:

Dear Santa,
Thank You for the Gift Cards this year.
Sincerely,
p0nk
p.s. The nearest Home Depot is 4 hours away, you fat lazy prick.

The days following Christmas (Boxing Day for you Canuckians) used to be about returning all the useless and broken crap, and the seven Dale Earnardt Jr wall clocks. Now it's about spending those damn gift cards.
People, it's one thing if you didn't want to take the time to buy something thoughtful for me, but why in the hell are you sending me to some god-forsaken hell-hole to try to find something i could use? Thanks a fucking lot! Cash may be considered tacky, but personally I would consider it a hell of a lot more thoughtful than forcing me to go to Ross Dress For Less to buy basketball shoes for one of the little p0nks.
...and speaking of the little p0nks, it's a damn good thing that i've got a week's vacation right now because between the Christmas hunting and putting together/repairing broken kids' toys, i'm pretty much busy 24/7.
Die Santa, you promoter of frivolous consumption!

Have a great one

One week paid holiday break. That's right! And I plan to do absolutely nothing. I might put a new album up on Monday, and on the wild chance that somebody would request one, i would put that one up too.
I have to say, I realize I have not been keeping up with daily rants, but it's been tough to pick just one topic to rant about. Here's a brief sample...
President NameThatReadsLikeAnEyeChart (kudos to RichPort for the moniker) from Iran welcomed a special envoy of Hasaidic Jews from New York who seem to be quite ethnic-identity confused.
DeathMatch III between moral compass Donald Trump and useless dike Rosie O'Donnell rages on. The publicity these two egomaniacs are getting from this spat would make for a great Reality TV show, except that The Biggest Loser as a title has already been taken, and quite frankly, neither of these two pathetic losers has much of a grasp of reality.
We're winning not winning winning not winning in Iraq.
Monica Lewinsky is in the news again, having finished her Masters from the London School of Economics...
Kim Jong Il is still playing us. Japan will probably go kick their ass before we realize North Korea is not serious about disarmament.
Fidel Castro is still not dead.
btw, watch for Club Hillary to expose the deepest darkest secrets of cool cat Obama as the Democratic Primaries kick off.

Santa Outlives God

This has to be one of the most twisted ironies of the Political Correctness movement.
Story here->UK teacher tells kids truth about Santa

Teacher catches hell for telling 10yo kids that Santa isn't real? As one parent said...

"What gives the school the right to decide when children should know the truth about such a harmless matter when knowing the truth does take away that little bit of magic?"

Seems to me these same people are pretty adamant that schools teach the 'truth' about evolution. So what happens if Johnny wants to believe that Christmas is about baby Jesus? Magical Santas are OK, but Jesus is not? Smurfs, Barney, Teletubbies, cocaine, & illicit, unprotected sex is all going to be part of my magical world and no damn school is allowed to teach otherwise.
No wonder the youth of today are so f'd up.

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that's right. i have nothing witty or obnoxious to report today. I'm tired and just trying to get through the week with as little thinking as possible. I have spent several days trying to figure out how to burn multiple episodes of 'The Office' onto a DVD in a format that the typical DVD player can play to the TV, to no avail. So today is going to be old Scorps, UFO, & MSG (20 pts to whoever can name the common denominator) turned up loud and mindless web surfing.

Person of the Year

Time Magazine's long honored annual tradition of "Person of the Year" this year bestowed the title on a 2" piece of aluminum foil. Damn, even I am not that cynical!

OK I admit, the cheesy gimmick was intended to be a mirror and they're saying that the person is everybody. But I beg to differ. Although I have yet to bring about world peace, end poverty, find a cure for aids or walk on the moon; I do try to make my little corner of the world a better place. And no doubt there are millions who do better than I, but alas would not boost sales of Time Magazine. Hollywood is a cesspool of debauchery. Athletes are more interested in slamming steroids and bangin' in the hood. Politicians are exploiting their influence for money and illicit sex. Tough to find a "Person of the Year" amidst the popular icons of today. Granted, there are a few who do some good. But if I knew how to change fonts on here, the word "some" would be in the smallest font available, because the relative good compared to their capability is miniscule. I would love to hear about somebody who makes $1 million a year but gives $950,000 of it to charity, but I haven't. So this year, I am nominating Mike, our mailman, for person of the year. When my kids run into Mike at the grocery store, Mike will stop and talk to them by name, ask them how they're doing, etc etc. Mike makes a difference where he can.

I promise not to get all techie on here, this rant is about customer service - more specifically the lack thereof - when it comes to technical issues such as my new ISfuckinP. It never fails that when you have a good arrangement working, somebody has to come along and fuck things up. For a number of years I was happier than a pack of black squirrels in a dog pound until SuddenPlink took over operations.
Now I hate phones almost as much as Angry Ferret, so initially I made my request via email for them to please look into their configuration and see if they can determine why on earth that last packet of my DCC Sends are getting lost. The response was a form letter assuring me that nothing has changed.
Nothing has Changed? If nothing has changed why do I have a new IP address and my domain name resolves to suddenlink instead of the previous ISP?
So last night I finally made the dreaded call. After wading through 4 levels of phone menu options, I reached a live person - live = had a pulse. I don't remember what this 1st guy's name was, so let's call him Darryl. After 10 minutes with Darryl, I was able to convince him that I didn't need help setting up my email or virus protection. Darryl passed me off to Estelle. Estelle was also very friendly and I was quickly able to convince her that I was not having problems with my browser. Estelle passed me off to Jay. Jay was a piece of work. I suspect Jay bluffed his way into the job and spends his days playing Doom online. No offense Jay, I'm sure you're quite proficient at whatever it is you do, but do you think you could forward me to somebody higher up the tech chain?
I never caught the name of this 4th guy, I don't think he likes talking on the phone and I suspect he was annoyed at my interrupting his efforts to hack into CIA headquarters. His response was that I need to configure my router to block port 40 and if I don't know how to do that myself I should contact the router manufacturer.
I was skeptical of this solution, but god damn at least somebody knows what the fuck a router port is, so what the hell, i'll give it a try.
And of course, it didn't do a damn bit of good. Fuckers.